ErwiiRommie
Panzer Commander
Sweat saves blood, blood saves lives, brains saves both!
Posts: 81
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Post by ErwiiRommie on Mar 13, 2007 23:42:36 GMT -5
If you have any questions or comments about the story, post them here. I'll try to answer any questions given to the best of my ability.
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Post by Qualerei on Mar 14, 2007 6:29:41 GMT -5
It sounds really interesting, and I see you worked hard on this. You seem to have everything planned out, and I can't wait to read it. I have a few questions though... - Is Rommel loyal to the Reich ? Meaning, he doesn't mind (too much) about the Jews being relocated ? (the part about them being relocated to an island, rather than killed, by the way, is very plausible, since it was one of the things proposed to Hitler by his officers. The project couldn't be applied, however, because of the war.) - In spite of the secondary effect of the sarcophagus, would Hitler really give up immortality so easily ? - How old is Rommel in 2007 ? - When do you post the first chapter ?
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ErwiiRommie
Panzer Commander
Sweat saves blood, blood saves lives, brains saves both!
Posts: 81
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Post by ErwiiRommie on Mar 14, 2007 10:15:39 GMT -5
As far as the reader knows, he's loyal to the Reich. And yes, he doesnt mind too much about the Jews being relocated to another planet. Nothing immoral is happening to them and as far as he knows they're happy. The Jews are actually living happily with no worries about getting mugged by brownshirts or a bunch of street kids cause they're Jewish or being slaughtered either. An SS division is stationed with them to keep an eye on them and to make sure they don't ever try to come back to Earth so thats pretty much the only thing the Jews have to be concerned about. Otherwise they are on their own. From our point of view, they would look like exiled prisoners forced to start all over from scratch, living in refugee like camps while they build better homes and a new life. Many hate what has happened to them but most accept the fact that it could have been much worse. Only his officers were forced to give up the sarcophagus. 116 years old, chronologically. Physically he's in his late fifties. Soon hopefully. I have some of the prologue written. I just need to write a couple introduction scenes and I'll have that up.
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Post by Qualerei on Mar 14, 2007 15:20:49 GMT -5
Can't wait to read it ! Another question, though. Rommel being in his late fifties, does he still do some field work, or does he stay behind his desk ? I have trouble imagining him doing only staff work, on the other hand he's getting too old to run around with Goa'ulds trying to kill him... A combination of both, maybe ? With proper security measures ?
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ErwiiRommie
Panzer Commander
Sweat saves blood, blood saves lives, brains saves both!
Posts: 81
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Post by ErwiiRommie on Mar 14, 2007 17:19:52 GMT -5
He goes offworld quite often. The SG teams are mostly used for recon and sabotage of enemy territory or when they arent fighting a war, they jsut mainly explore. When fighting, Rommel does as he always does. Leads from the front. He'll mostly bring infantry and small weapon emplacements and vehicles that can fit through the Stargate. The heavier equipment has to be brought in by the Luftwaffe Starfleet which by then are busy keeping the Gou'ald fleets busy in space. The Gou'ald do not have anything equivalent to tanks or other war vehicles. They mostly depend on masses of infantry and air support, so fighting them on the ground and holding out until heavy equipment arrives is not much of a problem for Rommel's first waves. When not fighting the Gou'ald and just exploring, Rommel grudgingly deals with staff work until the new world is deemed not a threat. Once then, he'll go explore that new planet with his men when there is nothing else pressingly important. As for his physical age, the sarcophagus rejuvenates the body. So technically he may look old, but he'll feel very much like he did back in the Great War. All his ailements that he suffered during the African Campaign will have been eliminated permenantly when he became a host. For those who arent familiar with the Gou'ald, they are basically a panacea for any disease, ailement or affliction. A note concernign the timeline: I will be changing the part about the sarcophogus to an earlier date and adding a new note after I had researched the side-effects a little more. It will change a few other things but not too much. The dates you should check out are: 1944, 53, 54 and 2000 I felt that the excuse I gave Rommel for his actions in 2000 sounded like he needn't take responsible for his actions and wasnt at fault. IMO although murdering someone is out of character for him, he has sixty years of hatred built up inside him and would make his actions understandable. Plus it allows for him to start questioning his morales and past actions which in turn leads to our story...
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Post by Qualerei on Mar 14, 2007 21:42:12 GMT -5
Oh, okay. Well, you answered all my questions then. Any idea how long the story will be ?
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ErwiiRommie
Panzer Commander
Sweat saves blood, blood saves lives, brains saves both!
Posts: 81
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Post by ErwiiRommie on Mar 14, 2007 22:52:12 GMT -5
Dunno. Usually my stories last more than 10 chapters but no more then 25. Each chapter ranging from 3-5 pages.
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Post by Qualerei on Mar 15, 2007 10:10:36 GMT -5
Well, come on and post the introduction/chapter one, whatever comes first. You made me really eager to read it !
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ErwiiRommie
Panzer Commander
Sweat saves blood, blood saves lives, brains saves both!
Posts: 81
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Post by ErwiiRommie on Mar 15, 2007 21:47:34 GMT -5
The translations as promised:
The Archeologists
"Rheinstein!" he shouted to his colleague as he quickly turned away towards his tent. "Rheinstein, come here!"
"Yes? What is it?" replied his colleague who emerged from the tent.
"Come look at this! Quickly, quickly!" His colleague approached as quickly as he could through the sand and across the occasional wooden walkways. Von Klaus pointed down into the hole the crew had dug and at the circular ring and heard the astonished intake of air from Rheinstein.
"My God! What is that?"
"I don't know! Call Berlin!"
"Yes, sir!" Rheinstein ran, clinging to his hat as he hastily made his way to their car.
The SS Officer
"What is wrong, Field Marshal?"
Rommel
"Forgive me, my loves...,"
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Post by Qualerei on Mar 15, 2007 23:56:29 GMT -5
The prologue was a great read. Although, I think "Chulak" is written with only one "l". Poor Rommel, indeed he wouldn't approve of such a massacre. Yet, I gathered he loved his family dearly, and I guess he might have wished for revenge, had they died so needlessly. I wonder how he'll come across SG1. And when - well, in chapter 1, I suppose. Might be funny if he's sent by mistake with them when they return to their home universe. At any rate, their reaction when they meet with the Desert Fox, will be interesting. Knowing Daniel, he'll probably want to get rid of Hitler or something... By the way, what happened to the Daniel Jackson, Jack O'Neil and Sam Carter of Rommel's universe ? Are they still alive ? Will they meet their counterparts ?
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ErwiiRommie
Panzer Commander
Sweat saves blood, blood saves lives, brains saves both!
Posts: 81
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Post by ErwiiRommie on Mar 16, 2007 10:28:12 GMT -5
You'll find out what became of the Darker SG1 team later on in the story.
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Post by Wing on Mar 16, 2007 12:37:39 GMT -5
Manfred and Lucie are DEAD?! Manfred I could deal with...but Lucie? *sniffles* I liked it, though. My friend is a rabid Stargate fan, perhaps I'll get her to iron out the series-related details for me.
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Post by Qualerei on Mar 16, 2007 15:34:04 GMT -5
What, am I the only one here along with Rommie who watched the SG1 series ? tsssk. I mean, it's a pretty good series. (almost) never gets boring, and it's great for crossovers. I actually began to write a SG1 - Rommel crossover myself. Well, okay, wrote half a page and gave it up. It was pretty different from Rommie's idea though, it was this Goa'uld who needed a good tactician, so he went in the past and picked Rommel. The desert fox thus fought against earth and SG1... I kinda prefer Rommie's idea anyway. Looking forward to the next part.
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ErwiiRommie
Panzer Commander
Sweat saves blood, blood saves lives, brains saves both!
Posts: 81
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Post by ErwiiRommie on Mar 16, 2007 22:02:40 GMT -5
Well I couldnt have them living, especially Lucie cause they'll just keep Rommel on a straight and honorable path which could have lead to a similiar timeline as the Lightside SG-1 but with the Germans in control rather then the Americans but maybe no nazis or SS. Besides Wing, I could have killed Spiedel off instead Anyway, I'll have more up soon... I currently digging through my mess for my old notes before I go any further. Those notes have terms and phrases in German that I need!
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Post by Wing on Mar 17, 2007 11:37:16 GMT -5
Hmm...are you implying that Hans is still alive? *perks up* And I actually do think that it was a good plot twist, however heartbreaking it may be. Looking over it again, my one suggestion is that you start using English when typing dialogue and imply that they're speaking German. I myself incorporate German words that may be familiar or easily guessed for the reader--jawohl and nein, curse words, German rankings, etc.,--and I find that that eliminates doubt that they might speaking English, but is still easier to read through. It was kind of hard to be immersed in the story and suddenly have to go to a different page to read the translation of a remark or take some time to piece through it myself: if you had used English, I would have known based on the characters talking that they were speaking German, but it would have been an easier read. Just a suggestion.
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